Saturday, February 26, 2011

Inside out

I wore my handmade vintage fabric dress inside out today. Oops.

I managed to go the whole day without realising. All through Kraftbomb market, my supermarket shop for civil defense supplies (all the rage here in post earthquake NZ ), buying shoes, a cafe stop...Nobody told me. Maybe i pulled it off with such confidence and style no-one noticed? Or my style is so eccentric no-one noticed? Ahem.

But really, it says alot about where i'm at.

We live in a very small house and have wanted to move from this beachy enclave for years now. (Three large personalities, band gear, sewing studio, 80 m sq, not to mention financially stretched being get the picture). After looking at houses for 2 1/2 years i had given up, then tripped over one i loved. One that we ALL loved. We need to sell before we can buy. I call the lovely guy who had wanted to buy our house a year earlier. Did he want to buy it? He does. So far, so good. This all seems right. We are ready to move, in our minds we are packed.
I'll spare you more details (it involves dodgy real estate agents and reads like a bad B movie). The result? Contract null and void at the final hour before settlement date. Grief. Frustration. Disbelief.

Goodbye house we fell in love with. Argh.

I am kidding myself not validating the feelings i have about this house stuff because of what is going on in Christchurch. Yes, we are blessed to HAVE a house, water, electricity, no liqufaction and our health. We have each other. There is so much to be grateful for. And i am, truly grateful. I also have moments of deep disappointment, anger and sadness.

The emotional roller coaster of the last month in the real estate funpark has creaked to a halt for us. And, to re-visit an old life lesson: i am now allowing myself the freedom to let my emotions about all this flow. I won't wallow in them, just sit and feel 'em so i can move on.

And at least i finally have my dress on the right way 'round. Sheesh.

I am also working on a wee project to support the kiddo's of Christchurch. That feels good.

1 comment:

  1. I can't believe it! I've been reading and waiting to see what is happening with your sweet little home with the big views. Good luck, chin up, breathe.

    Much love and thoughts, Ayrley.